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  • Love bombing, gaslighting, and the problem with pathologising dating talk
    #s:abuse #t:article/essay | But if you think of yourself as a moral patient and anyone who hurts you as a moral agent, it means that anything you do to them becomes fair game, because you are constitutionally incapable of inflicting harm, and they are constitutionally incapable of experiencing it. I once read an account written by a woman who was essentially stalking her ex, while framing his refusal to see her as “a classic narcissistic trick.” Instigating a global vilification campaign becomes a legitimate response to someone sending you a playlist they made for someone else – because you are someone who bad things are done to, they are someone who does bad things, and these categories can’t change. I think that a lot of interpersonal cruelty stems from this inability to see oneself as anything other than the injured party.
    2 years ago | View Shared by zeiat

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